Fast Five (2011)

Fifth in The Fast and the Furious series, this film is still coherent on its own. Big-time smuggler Dom Toretto escapes from custody, thanks to his sister Mia and her boyfriend Brian. The three converge on a train transporting high-value sports cars, but their larcenous scheme is complicated when corrupt Brazilian mogul Reyes interferes. They find themselves on the run, pursued by both Reyes’ thugs and federal agents. Taking refuge in the favalas of Rio de Janeiro, they assemble a team for “one last job”: a heist of all Reyes’s cash reserves.

Joel: This was a fast-paced movie—the action never flagged—and an entertaining two hours filled with speeding cars, explosions, and impossible fights, flights, and stunts. The plot was cohesive but constantly changing; the characters many but defined; the score sparse yet appropriate; the dialogue light. It’s an action movie, not a work of art, but the action was artfully done.

Michael: Fast cars, big guns, pretty girls. While you get what you pay for with Fast Five, I couldn’t help feeling that I’d seen it all before—only better. Ocean’s Eleven, Italian Job, Inception, Mission: Impossible—these are all similar heist movies but have more poise, polish, comedy, and character. The dialogue here is awful, the acting worse, and most all attempts at comic relief fall flat. Except for the action, there’s nothing here worth seeing.

J: Sweeping and picturesque cityscapes were immediately prominent. The iconic statue of Christ the Redeemer atop Rio’s hills, the cubist mosaic of the favalas, the miles-long expanse of the Rio-Niterói Bridge stretching across Guanabara Bay. The color and vivacity, breadth and breath, of the Brazilian outdoors really made the scenes come alive, and contrasted with the dull, muted indoor shots.

M: The shots were repetitive and boring—the first sweeping panorama was cool, but using the same transition between every scene was uncreative overkill. Same with the soundtrack: it was headache-inducing. Brian Tyler’s original score was nice, but unfortunately underused, and instead replaced with loud rap and hip hop. The songs fit the mood, but they annoyed me.

J: I enjoyed the soundtrack. It was unorthodox, but fitting. The percussive rhythms intensified the action sequences; Brazilian-inspired beats colored and complemented the Latin scenes; the electronica segues and rap sequences supported the street-racing theme; vintage radio crackle delightfully tarnished riffs of evocative samba. Apart from a few brief gems, most of the soundtrack won’t stand on its own, but it worked with the film.

M: If pounding music didn’t dull the senses, there was the acting. The performances and dialogue were frequently ridiculous; “serious” and “touching” moments, like when Mia abruptly mentions that she is pregnant, were without nuance—and induced hearty chuckles. In fact, while the attempts at humor may have miserably failed, there was plenty of laughter. This movie was unintentional comedy of the year.

J: Fortunately, the dialogue was sparse, and, except for some cliché and unconvincing romantic attempts, the acting centered on the action. I was afraid all the characters would blur together, but each was quickly differentiated. The fast-tongued Rome provided running commentary and comic relief; eye-catching but minacious Gisele was always ready with pointed words and weapons; and the redoubtable federal agent Hobbs quickly illustrated his no-nonsense style with the emphatic, unnecessary, and fortunately unrepeated, “Stay the f— out of my way.”

M: There was an unnecessary amount of swearing and sexual content. The camera frequently zoomed in and lingered on barely-clad women, crude references abounded, and the language was stronger than I prefer.

J: I was frankly surprised, and discomfited, by some elements. Several characters punctuate their speech with innuendos and mild profanities. In one scene of Rio’s hot-rod aficionados, the camera hesitates on the women’s scant Brazilian dress and provocatively-baring hemlines voyeuristically. Two men brutally bludgeon each other with their fists, smashing into walls, shattering windows, their faces trickling blood, until one scrabbles for a pipe wrench and drives it down with a sickening (off-screen) thud.

M: The film’s one redeeming quality, setting it apart from other caper movies, is the string of unbelievably incredible driving scenes. The closing car chase through the streets of Rio was the most over-the-top, destructive, and totally awesome I’d ever seen. The turbo-charged Dodge muscle-cars, towing their ten-ton load, causing explosions, crashing and demolishing buildings, scenery, and everything else—wow! The effects of this scene were so shocking and unbelievable I couldn’t help but gape in amazement. The gun scenes, fist fights, action and chase scenes make the movie almost worth watching.

J: It’s a solid action movie. Because of the brief but distasteful language and lechery, I can’t recommend it. But it was one exciting and impressive film.

M: It’s mindless, it’s over the top, it’s fun, it’s profane, it’s often crude. But despite the action and adventure, it’s not worth the ticket price.